Low Carb Swirly Treat, aka Pumpkin Roll*

As 2Bit shared in 2Bit Does St. James!, a certain pumpkin roll stand inspired 2Bit to try her hand at making the fall treat herself (esp. since it is like $4 a slice at said pumpkin roll stand and 2Bit could make an entire roll for like $5). 2Bit loves the delightfully sinful combo of pumpkin cake and cream cheese icing swirled together for all to enjoy the swirly goodness. However, 2Bit thought, why would I want to eat something sinfully delicious when I can make its low carb angelic counterpart? Indeed I would not, and indeed 2Bit did make its low carb counterpart.

The result was indeed yummy, but 2Bit could indeed taste the low carbness of it all and 2Bit was indeed self-conscious that her friends would not enjoy the swirly treat at girls night and all of 2Bit's sense of self-worth and fulfillment would fly out the window... There was a lot riding on what people thought of this pumpkin roll; so 2Bit thought (2Bit loves to share her thoughts), why don't I trick everyone and tell them that the pumpkin roll is really delicious and make them think it is the full fat sinful version? 2Bit thought it would be a nice social experiment to see if people are told that a dessert is good that they would really believe it was...  It worked!!! Those sucker friends of 2Bit actually thought the roll was good (JK friends, 2Bit loves you). 2Bit is still not sure if it was because of 2Bit's mind game playing or if it was because the swirly treat was actually pretty good.

But for reals, if you love a pumpkin roll but don't love all the fat and calories that comes with it, you should try this swirly treat. While it is definitely not as sinfully delicious as the normal recipe that yo mama makes, it does the job and makes you feel like an angel. If you would like to do the normal recipe, this post may help you navigate how to actually make the pumpkin roll itself, as far as the rolling part goes. 2Bit was def scared about trying to make such a swirly treat, but it's really not that difficult. So get yo swirl on, 2Bits!

*For the post title, I was choosing between this and "How to not write a paper".

Ze Rezipe:

For ze Cake:
3 large eggs
1 cup artificial sweetener (such as Equal Spoonful or Splenda Granular)
1 cup canned 100% pumpkin
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 cup self-rising flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg 

For ze Filling: 

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar (more if desired)

1 (8 ounce) package neufchatel cheese (low-fat cream cheese) 

1 teaspoon vanilla

Ze Procezz of Making Ze Zwirly Treatz:

1. Beat eggs and the 1 cup sweetener for 1 minute or so in mixing bowl on medium speed of mixer.

2Bit used "Stevia Plus" as the artificial sweetener. If you use this, it would be 2 Tbl, not 1 cup. It is so light that it doesn't give the cake as fluffy a consistency as sugar does, but it's low carb, so what do you expect? 2Bit LOVES manager's special!

2. Stir in pumpkin and lemon juice. Blend in flour, cinnamon and nutmeg until well combined.

3. Line a 10 x 15 x 1-inch jelly roll pan with waxed paper.

4. Spread batter evenly in pan. Bake in preheated 350°F/180°C oven 5 to 8 minutes or until cake tester or toothpick comes out clean. 

5. This is where it can get tricky, while your cake is baking, you need to go ahead and lay out a fairly thin kitchen towel and sprinkle it with powdered sugar.

6. Cool 3 minutes in pan; turn out onto a cloth and peel away wax paper

7. Roll up from the narrow end. Chill in refrigerator until completely cool. 

8. Beat cream cheese, powdered sugar and vanilla in mixing bowl on medium speed of mixer until smooth and spreadable. 

9. Unroll pumpkin roll and spread with filling. 

Notice ze cracks, normally not desirable, but 2Bit decided that it is like pockets for more cream cheese filling to go, which is always desirable.

 10. Re-roll. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. 

Duzt cake roll with confectionerz' zugar, if dezired. Slice cake into pinwheelz. Or take picturez of eet with a pumpkin and fall leavez.

Yes, 2Bit was the crazy girl walking around her neighborhood with a grocery bag grabbing whatever pretty leaves she could find.. 2Bit loves you that much.